This post is for women and men who like lifting weights and having muscle. So if you’re one of those women who truly, seriously believe that using dumbbells will make you massive and gross, please stop reading. Cosmo’s over there. Moving on.
So this is something you may not know about me: I really like flexing. I’ve always been into muscles: having them, building them, using them, enjoying other people’s, etc. While I love to work out and increase my fitness, I never really had the discipline to be really good at anything I tried: swimming, CrossFit, powerlifting. I enjoyed them all, but never really worked hard enough to achieve anything more than mediocre, small-time success (I can deadlift 250 pounds and do 12 strict consecutive pullups though, no big deal). So this year, I decided, as a newly minted adult—I turned 30 in January, don’t tell anyone—that I would put my discipline to the test and compete in a figure competition. I will keep you apprised on how it’s going—from the challenging diet, to the hours of working out, to somehow coming to terms with donning an oompa-loompa tan and clear heels in public—and I encourage you to ask me questions as I go along. I’ll be your window into the weird and wonderful world of bodybuilding culture, and you can watch me journey from regular gym rat to…well, a gym rat with abs, hopefully?
Will I figure out how to wear a bedazzled and high cut bikini? Will I be the first figure competitor to both trip and vomit on stage? Will my passion for cookies derail me completely? Stay tuned to find out!